Dear Coleen, I was seeing my girlfriend for nearly three years, but she ended things recently and I’m struggling. I saw us spending our lives together and was going to ask her to marry me, so I never saw this coming.

I kept asking her why, but she was always vague – her feelings had changed, she didn’t think we were compatible and that old cliché, “It’s not you, it’s me”.

So I was struggling for ages to work out why I got dumped and then I found out she’d started seeing one of my best mates, a guy I’ve known since high school.

Now it’s all clear and feel like a complete mug, and wondering how long she liked him for and even if they’d been seeing each other while we were still together.

This mate hasn’t been in touch to say anything, which also hurts. What am I supposed to do – contact them and ask? I’m angry, hurt and humiliated, and don’t know where to go from here.

What is your view? Have your say in the comment section

Coleen says

Stop torturing yourself with the thought that something went on between them while you were still together. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t and you might never know the truth. But she ended your relationship and the important thing to do now is focus on yourself and your future.

Look, I know that’s easier said than done and it’ll take some time to get over the heartbreak, but it’ll take a lot longer if you dwell on what went on between your ex and your mate.

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Coleen Nolan is the Mirror’s resident agony aunt

As for your pal, I think it’s bad form that he didn’t get in touch to tell you they were dating and offer an explanation – he obviously knows you’ll be upset and feels guilty.

But I don’t think it’s going to help you to contact either of them and have a showdown. If anything, it’s up to them to get in touch with you, especially if you have the same group of friends and you might bump into each other in the future at parties or other events.

I know you’re heartbroken, but you will get over this and meet someone else who’s right for you.

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