Mirror agony aunt Coleen Nolan advises a reader whose mother has given money to her daughter but not the other grandkids – is she playing favourites?

I think my mum is playing favourites

Dear Coleen, My mum’s sister recently died and left my mum some money and she has decided to split it between my brother and I.

However, she’s also told me in confidence that she’s also going to put some of it aside for my daughter, who is an only child, but none for her other grandchildren (my brother’s kids).

I’m very close to my mum, and my daughter and I see her often.

But I can’t help thinking this is unfair on my brother and his two children.

I know my mum means well and I’m so grateful for her money and for my daughter’s, but I can’t help but think she’s playing favourites, and that if my brother ever found out about the gift to my daughter it would cause tension within the family.

What would you tell this reader to do? Join the discussion in the comment section

Coleen Nolan is the Mirror’s resident agony aunt

What do you think I should do?

Should I speak to my mum, tell my brother, or just keep quiet about the whole thing?

Coleen says

You know what, it’s your mum’s money and she can do whatever she likes with it.

I can understand why you’re worried about your brother knowing about the gift to your daughter because I can imagine it wouldn’t go down too well with him. But he doesn’t have to know.

Your mum has told you this in confidence, so I think you should respect that. I also think you should respect the fact that she can do what she likes with this money.

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You don’t say how old your daughter is, but if she’s under 18 then you can put it in a savings account and then when she’s older, you can tell her what you’ve just told me and perhaps suggest she might want to make a small gift to her cousins, but even then, only if she wants to.

The thing with family ­favourites is, they seem unfair but maybe your daughter is your mum’s favourite because you spend so much time together and have a lovely relationship, so you shouldn’t feel guilty.

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